Roadtrip Down Under
by Balloon Animal
Summary: Two men, one van and a lot to work out between them. It's Scout and Sniper's Excellent Adventure!


This is a self indulgent story about Scout and Sniper going on an Australian road trip. I whipped it up in a day. Enjoy!

Scoot and Snoiper's Excellent Adventure

* * *

Halfway through the desert, the van hit a pothole on the road and Scout scrambled to right the map that had fallen from his hands. The blistering sun was shining through the windshield and blinding the boy with its unnatural intensity. Scout made the executive decision to stop deciphering the paper because currently it was far more useful as a sun-shield. He pressed it against his face and let out a groan.

"Know where we're goin' yet?" Asked Sniper.

"How should I know?" Scout pouted as he peeked over the crumpled map. He slumped down and rested his legs on the dashboard. Not particularly caring that he had kicked Sniper's bobble head figurine to the grimy floor of the campervan. "You freakin' come from here. Shouldn't you know where we are?"

Sniper frowned, but didn't make a comment about Scout's clumsiness. "Australia's a big country mate. Take a lifetime to know your way around even half of it, I reckon."

Scout sighed once more and tilted his head to look at the scenery whizzing past. Endless plains of red dirt and scrubland baking beneath an unforgiving sun; the essence of Australia. For the first five minutes it had been an exciting new world to the born and raised city boy. Now, after three days of this unchanging landscape burning into his retinas, he'd be happy if he never saw it again. Besides, sitting in a cramped campervan for that amount of time was wearing his ass out.

He opened the map again to give it one more crack. "Seriously, Kalgoorlie? What kind of a name is that?

"Old goldmining town that is." Sniper scratched his chin, still focusing on keeping the van running smoothly down the endless dirt road. "Did well back in the day. Hardly a shadow of itself now though. Gold's gone. Still a good community. Spent a some time down there back in 55'."

Scout wasn't really listening. He was more preoccupied with wondering how one country could be so unbelievably large and yet so completely uninteresting. They had been driving for days. Days! And they had barely even made any distance out in this rocky wasteland. Sniper had exulted the virtues of this country. The heart of the earth, he had said. A homeland of untold beauty. Scout decided to re-introduce Sniper's face to the Sandman at the next truckstop.

Sniper must have noticed Scout's petulant mood because he made the effort of turning the conversation around to more positive things. "Glad to have you here mate. Might be a bit boring now, but the places we're going to see will drop your jaw. 'Sides, nothin' wrong with a good road trip."

Scout sighed and rolled his head to look out the window again. From the moment he had stepped out of the plane he had seen naught but this dusty, desolate landscape. He hadn't even seen a kangaroo. From the stories he'd heard they should be bounding along in droves. Some freaking road trip! It genuinely pained him that he was sacrificing his annual leave to go on this madcap adventure with Sniper. He thought about his Ma and his brothers, all whom he hadn't seen for months. He suppressed his guilt and tried to focus on Sniper's promises.

When he was pressed against you, whispering huskily in your ear, Sniper could be very, very persuasive.

Sniper's hand sneaked over and squeezed Scout's thigh reassuringly. He grinned warmly. Scout's icy attitude melted and he couldn't help but smile back. Stupid sexy Sniper.

The moment was broken when the campervan gave another sharp jolt. The road was getting rougher the further out they headed. The asphalt had run out hours ago, and since then they were racing across corrugated dirt road. It got so rough at times that it rattled Scout's teeth. The campervan had been a milky cream colour when they first started out. Now you couldn't find a patch that wasn't caked in dirt beige. A worrying grinding sound was emanating from under the hood of the car. Scout looked over at Sniper and tried not to sound too concerned.

"Is uh, is the van okay?"

"She'll be right." Said Sniper, stroking the wheel affectionately. "Never let me down, this old thing. Drove her across the country twice. Don't make em' like they used to, I'll tell you that."

It was as if some force had overheard Sniper and decided that now was an excellent time to disprove his claims. An almighty bang exploded from the hood, followed by a few pathetic splutters. There were some shaky jolts before the van lost momentum and eventually rolled to a complete stop.

Stunned, Sniper clutched the wheel. "Right. That's never happened before."

Scout rose up in his seat, looked at Sniper, looked at the smoking bonnet and then looked back at Sniper. "Are you fuckin' kidding me?"

"Alright, calm down." Sniper tried to placate Scout as he unbuckled his seatbelt and opened the rickety door. "Sure it's nothin'. Probably the fan belt or something."

Scout watched Sniper amble up to the bonnet and pop the hood. He couldn't believe it. Here they were in the middle of nowhere. The heat was blistering and they were hours from civilization. Of all the times for this rust bucket to break down. He groaned in exasperation and kicked the door open to join Sniper.

It was hard enough to bear the sun inside the van. Outside it was like stepping into a volcanic crater. The heat was radiating off the car and warping the air around it. Sniper looked down at the exposed engine, brows knit in concern. Scout wasn't a mechanic, but he was pretty sure that smoke belching from your car was probably a bad sign. He held a hand up to his eyes to shield them from the glare and sidled up to Sniper. He peered over Sniper's shoulder and pretended that he had a clue about car mechanics. "Looks pretty fucked man."

Sniper sighed and wiped the sweat off his brow with the back of his hand. "Oveheated. Radiators blown. Piss."

"So, what? You can fix it can't you?" Sniper didn't give him any signals. Panic began to rise up in Scout. "Please say you can fuckin' fix it!"

Sniper tilted his hat to keep the sun off his face and walked to the side of the road. He gazed down the dirt road and the baking scrubland that surrounded it. "Might be out here for a while, sorry to say."

"Shit!" Scout pulled at his hair, and when that didn't relieve his stress he went and kicked the biggest rock he could find only to stub his toe in the process. "Fuck, shit, fuck!"

"Wouldn't waste the energy if I was you." Sniper adjusted his aviators and leaned against the van, folding his arms while he watched the angry young man. "Hard to say when someone'll show up."

Scout gave up his tantrum because the heat was sucking the energy right out of him. He turned to Sniper and couldn't comprehend how relaxed the man appeared. He simply leaned against the van, eyes closed and lips turned upwards, like he didn't have a care in the world.

"This is it!" Scout threw his arms up and went to join Sniper. "We're gonna die."

Sniper sighed and tilted his head at Scout. "We're not going to die. Stop yabbering."

Scout continued his tirade. "Out in the middle of friggin nowhere in a country no one's even heard of where you all drive on the wrong side of the freakin' road. Fuck man, if we don't die I'm gonna kill _you_."

Sniper pulled his hat over his face. Argument over.

Scout pushed away from the van. This inescapable heat was driving him crazy. He just wanted to hit something. He stalked around the van and a few meters up the road looking for signs of life. It was nothing but terracotta coloured sand and bristly native shrubs stretching out for kilometres in every direction. Scout had always imagined a desert to look yellower, with heaping sand dunes and camels. Nothing like this. This was just weird.

Scout slumped his shoulders in resignation and shuffled back to Sniper.

"Listen," Said Sniper who had taken some pity on Scout. "If you want to make yourself useful, go grab the eskie."

* * *

Sniper had pulled out the awning on the top of the campervan, and they were both sitting on deck chairs under the shade it provided. Scout had fished out some beers from the eskie, which used to have ice in it but was now replaced with tepid water. Still, a warm beer was better than no beer at all. The intensity of high noon had passed, and now the sun was dipping down on the west horizon, treating the two mercenaries a spectacular orange sunset.

Scout had to admit, it was almost pleasant.

Sniper breathed the air in deeply. Despite their circumstance he was more cheerful than Scout had seen him for days. "Jus' look at that." He sighed and took another swig of his beer can. "Bewdiful."

"Yeah," Said Scout, nursing his own beer in his hands. "It's a real work of art. But ya know what I think would be even better? A flushing toilet!"

Scout didn't want to contradict Sniper, but he had grown rather attached to creature comforts like indoor plumbing.

"It's just all new to you. After a while you won't even want to go back. There's nothing like it."

Scout sipped his lukewarm beer and silently disagreed. They had been on the road for a while now, and the variety of pit-toilets he'd encountered on this journey had left him with some deep psychological trauma. But Sniper couldn't get enough of this rough living. He thrived on it! When Scout had suggested they try to have a vacation the traditional way – in a hotel with washed sheets – it was like he had personally insulted the bushman.

So now he kept the resentment to himself. It was just easier that way.

"Right," said Sniper after he finished his beer and crumpled the can in his fist. "Sun's goin' down. Might be time to start a fire."

Sniper sent Scout on a mission to find kindling while he climbed back into the van to retrieve the logs he kept stored for emergencies. Scout grumbled, kicking stones around as he searched for twigs and sticks. There really wasn't much out here in terms of firewood. He nearly jumped out of his skin when a vicious looking scorpion scuttled across his shoe.

"Holy fuck!" He dropped everything he was holding and raced back to the van like his ass was on fire. Sniper popped his head out the doorway to see what the commotion was about.

"Wot's going on?"

"There was a fuckin', huge-ass THING!" Scout barked breathlessly.

Sniper raised an eyebrow.

"A SCORPION man. Fuck! Fuck this country!"

Sniper chuckled. "Try not to get bitten mate. Not too many doctors out here."

"Yeah, thanks for the advice. Real helpful." Scout ran his fingers through his sweaty hair.

"So, you going to get that kindling? Don't want to wait too long. It's going to get nippy real soon." He retreated back into the camper to continue with whatever he was doing.

"Aww, fuck you old man." Scout muttered under his breath, turning around to find his abandoned pile.

The minor scare meant Scout took twice as long to gather the rest of the kindling. He tentatively turned over each stick to make sure there wasn't some deadly creature attached to it. Even his ankles itched with paranoia, and he had to stop every five minutes to check that something wasn't crawling up his leg.

He returned to the makeshift campsite considerably grumpier. Sniper had arranged rocks and a circle, and was squatting beside it waiting for Scout to return. "Took your time, mate."

"I got your twigs didn't I?" Scout threw them carelessly on the ground. "And I ain't dead. Anything else ya want me to do? Dig a grave?"

"Nah," Sniper started snapping the sticks and arranging them for the fire. "This'll be fine for now."

It took Sniper less than five minutes to get an impressive fire going. Twilight had descended on the desert and the first stars started to appear at the sky. Sniper sat beside the fire Indian style and stared out in the distance, captivated by the tranquility of the wilderness. Scout was bored out of his skull.

"Wish I could watch a game." Scout muttered idly.

"No telly out here. Just nature."

"Yeah, well you know what? You can keep all the nature pal. Did we bring a pack'a cards or somethin'? I'm going outta my mind here!"

Sniper sighed and looked down his nose at Scout, obviously unappreciative that Scout was shooting down all his attempts to introduce the young man to the beauty of the Australian outback and the bushman lifestyle. "When you're done complaining you can grab the billy tin out of the van, thanks. It's time for tucker."

Scout pushed himself to his feet, not bothering to hide his petulance. He opened the van door and nearly tripped over his feet. Darkness was descending quickly and he struggled to find what he was looking for. Sniper kept all kinds of supplies filling up what little space the cramped campervan had. There were bits of rope and bags of tins arranged in every crevice. There was even a surfboard propped up against the far wall. They were in the goddamn desert! Eventually, with a lot of swearing he found the billy. He tucked a jug of water and some tins under his arm for good measure, fantasising about the day where he could eat a home cooked meal and not slop boiled in a tin.

He slammed the door behind him with his foot and returned to the fire.

"Cheers mate." Sniper took the billy and the rations off Scout's hands.

Scout plopped himself down next to Sniper and rested his chin on hand. He watched the older man stoke the fire and place the billy amongst the smoking embers with practiced skill. He was learning little things about the marksman over the course of this trip. It was as though, piece by piece, he was beginning to understand what made him tick. He rubbed his face and wondered, not for the first time, what compelled him to agree to this.

Sniper wasn't wrong about the temperature. It was a total contradiction. At noon you would cook to the pavement, but at night you'd have icicles hanging from your nose. Scout rubbed his arms and scooted closer to the fire.

Sniper peered up at the sky. "Clearer the night the colder it gets. Heat just escapes up into the atmosphere. Going to be a real chiller tonight."

"Ya don't say." Scout's teeth started to chatter.

"Ah, come here you sook." Sniper put an arm around Scout and pulled him close. Scout thought about pushing Sniper away to save some pride, but he couldn't help but enjoy the affection. He rested his head against Sniper's shoulder and relaxed a little. Maybe being stuck out in the middle of the desert wasn't _so_ bad.

Dinner that night was tinned spaghetti with a side of slightly charred toast. Not exactly gourmet cuisine, but Scout was so famished he couldn't care. Sniper had boiled a pot of water and powdered milk with some heaping mounds of Milo added to the mixture. So now they were sharing a blanket with a cup of watery hot chocolate to sooth them.

"And you _like_ living like this?" Questioned Scout as he took some tentative sips of his drink.

"It's the only way to live. When you've been out here a while you begin to realise how meaningless life in the big city is."

A city boy like Scout didn't take too kindly to the fact that Sniper was essentially insulting his upbringing. "You ever _tried_ livin' in the city. If you were me, you'd be dead! Wouldn't last one fuckin' second! City living makes you a man."

"Oh yeah," Murmured Sniper as he let a hand stray up Scout's thigh. "You ever taken on a three metre croc in the city?"

"Well, no." Sniper's wandering hand was making it difficult to focus on the conversation. "But this one time I took on ten guys at once. Shit went down."

"Mmm hmm…" Sniper had placed his drink to the side and was now kissing his way up Scout's neck.

"Uhh…" Scout had more things to say, but for some strange reason he couldn't think of one of them.

Sniper's rough hands had worked their way under Scout's shirt and were taking their time to trace every inch of Scout's skin. Scout squirmed. This minor touching was quickly getting him hot and bothered. He grabbed Sniper's face and pulled him into a bruising kiss to speed things along, tasting the chocolate on his tongue.

They kissed and fondled heatedly for a good five minutes. Tonight Sniper must have felt like he owed Scout a favour, because he let the boy take some liberties he wouldn't have allowed otherwise. Scout was leaving on his neck what was sure to be an unsightly hickey tomorrow.

"Mmm," Sniper hummed as Scout began to unbuckle his pants. "We should sleep out here tonight."

"What?" Scout paused momentarily to look at Sniper in puzzlement. "You mean sleep outside? In the middle of the desert?"

"Sure do." Sniper cupped and squeezed Scout's backside.

"With the spiders and snakes and shit?"

"They won't bother ya."

"You have to be kidding. It's freezing as shit!"

"I'll keep you warm." Sniper waggled his eyebrows.

With Sniper's hands down Scout's pants, he made a convincing argument. Besides, the campervan wasn't exactly the most comfortable place to sleep. The foldout bed in there barely fit one person, and Sniper's junk scattered everywhere made it even less accommodating. The air was fresh out here, and there would be more than enough room to drape himself over Sniper.

"Fine, whatever."

"You legend." Sniper kissed him chastely and then began to pull away.

"Hey! Where do you think ya goin'?"

"Getting the blankets mate." He laughed and headed out into the darkness, towards the campervan.

Mildly pissed off, Scout pulled the blanket further around his shoulders and leaned closer to the fire, which by now had been reduced to dimly glowing embers. "Don't forget the lube!" He yelled out.

He heard a distant chuckle, which meant Sniper must have heard him. He poked at the fire with a stick, mesmerised by the smouldering ashes. Apart from the stars overhead and the small campfire, it was pitch black. It was also eerily quiet. Scout was used to the constant background of noise that the city provided. Even when he was working on base, there was enough commotion going on between teammates to make up for the solitude.

This was different. It was just… emptiness. It unnerved him. He was impatient for Sniper to get back and shouted out to him with his usual delicacy. "Yo Snipes, get your ass back here. It's freakin' me out."

A crunch of boots across the sand announced Sniper's return.

"Here y'are mate." He tossed Scout a half empty tub of Vaseline. "Got to be sparing with it. Not sure when we can get some more. And don't get sand in it!"

"Alright, I ain't a moron. Jeeze."

Sniper had brought a torch with him, which Scout was eternally grateful for. It was his job to shine it on the ground so that Sniper could see what he was doing as he spread out the tarpaulin and bedding. Scout occasionally shone the light on the bushes, thinking he would catch an unspeakable creature in the act of crawling towards them. Sniper began to get annoyed that Scout was wasting the precious battery life.

"Listen, if you can't use that properly I'm going to have to take it off you."

Scout shone the torch up in his own face like he used to do when he was a child and made spooky ghost noises.

"Come off it mate, how old are ya?"

"At least half your age old man."

"Oh yeah?" Sniper sat down on the sleeping bags and kicked his boots off. "You come here and I'll show you what this old bloke can do."

Scout didn't need to be told twice. He dashed up to the bedding, the chill air now no so much of a concern. He kicked of his own shoes and spread himself across the slippery fabric. He set the torch to the side, still switched on so they could at least try to see what they were doing. He leaned up to pull the belt out of Sniper's trousers in one swift tug.

"You're a little mongrel, ain'tcha."

"Whaddaya gonna do, huh? Spank me? Don't pull your back out grandpa."

Sniper forced himself down onto Scout with a growl and they wrestled around tugging off each others clothing, piece by piece.

Scout was unused to this kind of liberation. For so long he had to sneak around when he wanted time with Sniper. He had to muffle his cries when they were alone, and even then it was risky. The walls had ears back at base. For a young man who still wasn't completely comfortable with his own sexuality, it was a painful situation.

Now, out here, his doubts were as distant as his hometown.

He felt Sniper up and down, reveling in the freedom. He moaned out loud just because he could and urged Sniper along by offering him some dirty suggestions.

Sniper also appeared to have an extra boost of energy that night. He buried his face into Scout and inhaled deeply, kissing and sucking any skin he came across. He kissed a trail down to Scout's hips, his warm breath brushed across the boy's straining erection.

Scout hissed and grabbed the back of Sniper's head, trying to force him closer.

Sniper batted Scout's hands away. "Don't be a brat, kid." He moved back up the slender body and crushed their lips together.

"Aw, fuckin' hell." Scout seethed with frustration. He settled his hands on Sniper's (pleasantly defined) ass before he ground their hips together, panting and bucking.

"Mmm, yeah." Sniper ground back in appreciation. He noticed the touch of cotton brush against his calf muscle. "You've still got your socks on." He chuckled.

"I don't know if you've noticed man, but it's COLD." And it was. Even with all their activity, the sides of Scout's body were getting numb. He entwined his legs around Sniper's trying to steal some of the other man's body heat.

"Here," Sniper reached over and pulled an open sleeping bag over them. "All better." He pecked Scout's cheek teasingly.

"It'll be better when we're fucking." Scout patience for foreplay was limited at best. He reached between his legs and stroked his cock, hoping that Sniper would get the message.

"Alright! I gotcha. Christ, can't take things slow can you?" He lightly bit Scout's shoulder just to make it clear who was in charge tonight. "Turn over then."

Scout eagerly complied, quickly rolling over onto his belly. He could feel the texture of the desert floor through the thick tarpaulin they lay on. He lifted his hips and felt the hot touch of Sniper's cock resting atop the cleft of his ass. "Give me everything ya got old man."

"Righto," Sniper's voice was deep and shaky. "Pass the lube."

"Ahh," Scout momentarily paused from his gyrating. "Should be here somewhere."

There was a moment of silence before Sniper said; "You lost the bloody lube!"

"No I didn't lose it!" Scout shouted defensively. "It's just… around here. Fuck, get off me. I'll find it."

Freezing, horny and embarrassed, Scout used the flashlight to scope around the camp looking for the elusive jar of Vaseline. It took him a full ten minutes before he realised that he had left it in his pants pocket. He could have bashed his head against a wall, but he would have to save that for later. Right now there was fucking to do.

"You are a little bugger." Growled Sniper as he lifted the blanket up to let Scout slip back in.

"Yeah, I'm a chucklehead, big freakin' deal." Scout was shivering and he had to wrap his arms around Sniper's waist. "Let's just get back to business, okay?"

The small interval had taken some of the urgency out of their tryst. They kissed slowly to let Scout warm back up. Sniper rubbed him between his shoulder blades and before too long he had taken both their cocks in his hand and was giving them lazy strokes.

"Ah! You can do better than that." Scout mocked.

"You're right, I can. Get into the position."

Scout rolled over again, loving the feeling of Sniper's weight pressing against him. He passed Sniper the Vaseline, which he had held possessively in his hand. "HERE is the lube, your Majesty Queen Elizabeth."

"Cheers, your royal pain in the arse. Because of that I'm not going to be gentle with ya."

"Good," Scout wiggled his butt. "I like it like that. Bring it!"

Scout bit his lip when two slicked fingers worked their way inside of him. Sniper wasn't being careless, but he definitely wasn't holding back either. He breathed hot impatient breaths against the back of Scout's neck. "Howd'ya like that, huh?"

"Mmm," Scout pressed his forehead against the ground. "Like what? I can't even feel it."

Sniper laughed a deep, dominating laugh that he only ever used in bed. It made the hairs on Scout's head stand on end. "No point wasting any more time, is there?" He settled himself comfortably behind Scout and pushed in. He hardly spared the chance for Scout to adjust to the intrusion.

"Ah, jeeze…" Scout had to resist the instinct to tense up. He exhaled a rattling breath.

"Feel it now, aye?" Sniper slapped Scout's buttocks before he began a leisurely pace.

"Can't… feel…shit!" Scout panted in time with each thrust.

Sniper knew a challenge when he heard one. He picked up the pace until he was nearly slamming against the boy. Scout took it like a champion though. He matched Sniper's rhythm by pushing his own hips back in time and swore like a Boston sailor.

"Fuckin', aah… roo humper! Hnngg!"

Sniper slid his arms around Scout's waist. At first Scout thought he was going to jack him off, which he had no issue with whatsoever. To his surprise though, Sniper tilted him over and changed their position, making sure not to slip out of the overeager young man.

"Ah, what the hell?" He panted. His back was still pressed against Sniper's chest, except now he was staring up at the night sky. Sniper couldn't maintain the same frantic pace in this position, so he compensated by holding Scout's legs apart and thrusting into him deeper.

"Thought you might want to have a look at this." Sniper sucked on Scout's neck, keeping a slow steady rhythm with his hips.

"Look at what?" Scout groaned as he tried to get used to this weird angle.

"The sky, mate. Ever seen anything like it?"

"Huuuhhh, what?" Scout hazily peered up at the sky, more preoccupied with the cock in his ass then the cosmos. However, as he let his eyes focus he was treated to a spectacular sight. "Fuck, wow."

"Amazing yeah?"

With not a cloud in sight, the night sky stretched over them like a painted canvas. The Milky Way loomed overhead in crystal clarity. No city fog or glaring lights were there to detract its beauty. There were sparkling constellations that Scout didn't recognise. He was genuinely lost for words.

"Hunng!" He was getting close, and by the sound of his laboured breaths, Sniper was too.

"Christ Scout, I'd shag you all day if I could." His hand gripped Scout by the base of his erection, and it only took three tugs before Scout arched his back and came in shuddering spasms, choking out garbled curses.

"Yeah, yeah good boy." He muttered into Scout's neck before he rode out his own climax, continuing shallow thrusts until he was completely spent.

They lay together panting, still temporarily connected. Sniper slid his hands down Scout's body a couple of times before they gingerly separated. They moved apart until they were lying side-by-side, chests pressed together.

Scout let out a weary sigh and pressed his head against Sniper's shoulder. "S'good. Never fucked outside before."

"Should do it more often. Definitely." Sniper suggested, happy to just lie there and have Scout pressed against him.

"Next time though," Scout's eyes drooped shut, "You're in charge of the lube."

"Heh, no worries mate. No worries."


End file.
